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    welcome to across the chessboard! we're an alice in wonderland based site with an original plot and slight modern dystopian twist and canon characters from alice's adventures in wonderland and through the looking glass and what alice found there, both by lewis carroll. for a longer summary, please visit our information center here. if you have any questions, feel free to give an admin a shout in the cbox (it's to your left- just click the chatter button and it should pop open). again, welcome, and we hope you join us!

    it is currently summer 2015 in london.
    it is currently summer-ish in wonderland.

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    Wonderland wasn't always this way. There was a time when it mirrored medieval England, albeit with a few magical elements: a few quirks and eccentricities that made it truly unique. While all feared the Queen's mercurial temper and the fine blade of her Guillotine, all was well, until a little girl named Alice Liddell disturbed the status quo and sparked a revolution. The kingdom began to fall into decay as the taint of the modern world invaded. History is beginning to repeat itself and no one is happy. As the Queen of Hearts tangles in a battle of wits and riddles with the Cheshire Cat, the rest are starting to wonder ... is it true that the White Rabbit is bringing humans to Wonderland when they themselves are banned from going to London?

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 Hurt and Comfort (M), Blake | sexual themes | personal thread
lance chevalier
 Posted: Sep 29 2015, 08:43 PM
Quote
Aha! What villains are these, that trespass upon my private lands! Come to scorn at my fall, perchance? Draw, you knaves, you dogs!
30RedWhite Knight102 postsapplicationplotting
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lance chevalier


Lance gave Blake a gentle squeeze of reassurance, hugging the man tighter. It was so strange, comforting someone else this way. He felt like he didn't know what to do. He wished he could actually help somehow. He wished he could save Blake from this sadness. He didn't want Blake to feel unsafe here, even if Wonderland was a dangerous new world for him. He wanted to at least give Blake that. An emotional anchor to grow from, and learn to be happy here. After all, that's what Achilles had done for him when his own world had crumbled.

"Those are all good reasons to love someone." Lance murmured quietly, resting his chin in the top of Blake's head so that he completely surrounded the smaller man in his warm embrace. "I could say the same things about Achilles, myself. Never forget those things. And never forget that just because he isn't here doesn't mean you have to feel like you've lost all that. No one in this castle will let you get hurt. Especially not Achilles and I. We'll be your knights. As stiff and grumpy as he is, I know he worries about you... And if I didn't care about your well-being I wouldn't be here. "

He closed his eyes and held Blake a little closer, clinging gently to him in comfort. "You're not alone. Not even in your loss. Okay? Don't ever forget that. "

The superior man thinks always of virtue; the common man thinks of comfort.
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blake everly
 Posted: Sep 30 2015, 04:08 PM
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I seem to be having this tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle. As soon as I reach some kind of definite policy about what is my kind of music and my kind of restaurant and my kind of overdraft, people start blowing up my kind of planet and throwing me out of their kind of spaceships!
44RedCard124 postsapplicationplotting
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blake everly


Blake felt his heart pull as Lance spoke, chest feeling suddenly tight. Lance's voice was so soft and sweet, his arms warm and strong and study and protective. So much like Luca. He'd never been hugged so gently and completely by anyone but Luca, it was impossibly not to think of him. Blake rolled the words around his head, parsing through them as he tried to come to grips with everything.

We'll be your knights.

if I didn't care about your well-being I wouldn't be here.

You're not alone.

It was exactly what he should have needed to hear. Every word of it should have helped him feel like he would have a new, contented life here. The words should have pulled his thoughts away from his lost lover, but they didn't. The kindness of the words made it take on a loving tone in his ears, like Luca's sweet angelic voice, though he was sure Lance didn't feel that way. Blake knew he was projecting his feelings for Luca onto the first person to show him real comfort.

He knew this, rationally. But it was hard to be rational when he was feeling so hurt and sad and lonely. And the deeper he let himself sink into those thoughts the more like Luca the knight seemed. Similar ages, similar heights. So kind, without needing to be. Works hard, but under-appreciated by his peers. More world-wise than book-smart. Strong from work, not from dieting and working out at the gym for hours on end.

And pure. He'd only been here a week but he'd heard all about Lance's obsession with the knightly virtues. Lance had talked his ear off about it the first time they met. Generosity, courtesy, justice, honesty..... faith. Luca's strongest and favorite virtue. Not just christian faith, but faithfulness. Devotion to everything he does and everyone he cares about. If Lance exemplified one virtue the most, it was certainly that.

Just yesterday he'd found himself thinking that it was harder to remember Luca's voice, and yet it rung loud and clear in Lance's. He'd begun to forget Luca's loving embrace, and here he was in it once again. He needed this. He needed to remember Luca. His love, his kindness, his touch...

Blake pulled away slightly and looked into Lance's eyes, his own shining with tears. His eyes traced slowly over the other man's face, across his cheek bones, down his jaw. Blake's eyes closed tightly once they landed on Lance's lips, squeezing out a few tears. He wrapped his arms around Lance's shoulders and kissed him deeply and without warning, fingers tangling themselves in Lance's hair. He tugged gently on the brown curls as he pulled himself closer to Lance, nearly into his lap.

His thoughts were full of nothing but Luca. In his mind Lance's hair seemed straighter and darker. His eyes were a deep brown rather than a vivid blue. He could even feel the nearly-permanent stubble on Luca's face as he kissed him. It was easier with his eyes closed, so he kept them that way while he kissed him.

All of us have ways in which we mask and cover our pain.

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lance chevalier
 Posted: Oct 1 2015, 06:48 PM
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Aha! What villains are these, that trespass upon my private lands! Come to scorn at my fall, perchance? Draw, you knaves, you dogs!
30RedWhite Knight102 postsapplicationplotting
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lance chevalier


Lance couldn't help but whimper softly into the kiss as Blake pulled his hair, partially with surprise, but mostly because Blake had inadvertently found his greatest weakness. Achilles showed affection by yanking Lances's hair the same way most people would show affection with a hug. It was a trigger for him to feel submissive, and it was generally quite effective. If Achilles wanted to shut up the loud, boisterous knight all he had to do was pull Lance close and tug on the idiot's curls. It almost always completely derailed his train of thought.

And this was no different. He felt like he's been thinking about something specific, but whatever it was it was long gone. He gave in to the kiss and wrapped his arms around Blake's waist, pulling him closer, letting Blake into his lap. It was a strange feeling. He could tell Blake wasn't thinking about him. The kiss was far too desperate and passionate to be for someone he hardly knew. He could taste the tears that had rolled off Blake's cheeks and onto his lips. He wondered if this was how Achilles felt when he'd crawled into his bed that first night, crying, trying to forget that his fiancee had left him.

That was exactly what this was, wasn't it? That's what Blake was doing. Trying to find comfort in the arms of someone he considered a friend in order to bury the pain of losing the one he loved. Lance couldn't blame him. After all, that's exactly what he'd done. He wasn't going to tell Blake to stop. If he hand't gone to Achilles, Lance could only imagine the wreck he'd be.

If there was anything he could do to help, he would do it. It was just how he was. It was one of the times he cared more about others than himself. The same way he served his queen even though she had hurt him. The same way he bowed to his king and treated him like a gracious master even though he was the man his love had left him for. The same stupid line of thinking that lead human knights to run off to save damsels in distress from vicious dragons.

So, he let Blake decide for himself what to do next. He wasn't going to decide for him. He wasn't going to force the other man to make that choice. He couldn't know how Blake would feel about it, but he could trust him to make his own decisions. Lance would follow willingly.

The superior man thinks always of virtue; the common man thinks of comfort.

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blake everly
 Posted: Oct 3 2015, 02:27 PM
Quote
I seem to be having this tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle. As soon as I reach some kind of definite policy about what is my kind of music and my kind of restaurant and my kind of overdraft, people start blowing up my kind of planet and throwing me out of their kind of spaceships!
44RedCard124 postsapplicationplotting
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blake everly


Blake took the accepting of the kiss and being pulled into Lance's lap as consent. He found himself making his choice without giving it the proper amount of thought. Really any decent, clear-headed amount of thought would be enough to tell him not to do this. Would tell him that he'll only regret this choice. That it will only leave him feeling more alone than ever. That it could very well end up driving a wedge between himself and Luca that may never be fixed. That this physical connection he feels with Luca right now is an illusion created by desperation and his soul feeling crushed beyond repair.

But he didn't give it proper thought or time to think it through. He was convinced he didn't want to. If he stopped now, he would lose this small glimmer of Luca's love that he could swear he felt. He didn't want to let go. If he let go, he'd forget more of him. If he let go now he'd never remember the taste of Luca's lips, the touch of Luca's calloused hands on his most sensitive skin, the sound of his name breathed beside his ear.

He's recently found himself praying. He'd prayed to a God he'd never put much faith into. A God he was certain didn't reign over this world. Luca's God. And he'd told the deity that he was starting to forget. That Luca's laughter no longer rang in his ears, that he couldn't remember what it felt like to be in Luca's strong, soft, warm embrace. And then he'd asked for a sign. A sign that Luca was okay, or for God to tell Luca that he was safe. And now he found himself here, in an embrace too much like Luca's, in the arms of a man that laughed like Luca.

Maybe this was his sign. Lance had entered his room because God was taking pity for once. Blake was being given a chance to remember because he had asked for one. This was the last little thought he needed to make his choice.

He deepened the kiss, pressing himself against Lance with a distinct air of need. He made quick work of the buttons on Lance's shirt and pulled off his own, encouraging the skin-to-skin contact. He gently tugged on Lance's hair again, having made a mental note of the positive reaction it had brought about the last time. He silently begged Lance to take it the rest of the way, the desperation in his every movement was more than enough to scream it to even the slowest and most deaf man. He just hoped Lance would understand why he chose to do this now.

All of us have ways in which we mask and cover our pain.

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lance chevalier
 Posted: Oct 23 2015, 02:00 AM
Quote
Aha! What villains are these, that trespass upon my private lands! Come to scorn at my fall, perchance? Draw, you knaves, you dogs!
30RedWhite Knight102 postsapplicationplotting
Bro is Offline
lance chevalier


Lance understood Blake's choice. He heard the smaller man's desperation loud and clear. He knew the pain, and the heartache, and the need to make it all disappear for at least a moment. And he would help him. He would give Blake the distraction he wanted. It was up to him to make his choice, and it was made quite clearly.

He laid Blake back on the bed, never breaking the kiss. He made quick work of the rest of their clothes. There were no words. Nothing was left that needed to be said... well, there was plenty that needed to be said, but not to each other and not for this. The only words that were exchanged was a brief confirmation to begin the act, which was responded to with only a quick nod and another kiss.

Desperate. Needy. Clingy. Thoughtless.

Not loving. Not for each other, anyway. This was okay. Neither man expected the other to be thinking about anything at all. It wouldn't be a very good distraction if they did.

It wasn't carnal, in spit of the mindless nature of it. Neither man was typically given to one night stands- even Lance, with his reputation, never slept around. There was an emotional connection. One of understanding and a level of trust. Lance did nothing without some kind of cue from Blake, and Blake trusted Lance not to hurt him. It was intimate.

But both men knew it wouldn't be repeated. This was for tonight. One night to forget. One night to try to push down the pain. Was it healthy? No. Was it the best option? No. But it was the decision that was made. They would have to suffer the consequences later.

The superior man thinks always of virtue; the common man thinks of comfort.

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blake everly
 Posted: Oct 25 2015, 02:38 AM
Quote
I seem to be having this tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle. As soon as I reach some kind of definite policy about what is my kind of music and my kind of restaurant and my kind of overdraft, people start blowing up my kind of planet and throwing me out of their kind of spaceships!
44RedCard124 postsapplicationplotting
Bro is Offline
blake everly


Blake slowly awoke the next morning, eyes blinking against the light of the sun as it streamed in through the small window on the far wall. He didn't need to open his eyes to know that he was alone in the bed. That was okay. He hadn't expected Lance to stay. In fact it would have been asking far too much of the other man if he had. He knew from the moment he was told his stay in Wonderland would be permanent that he would never wake up to find someone kind and loving in bed beside him, especially not the one he missed most.

And so he dragged himself out of bed to wash up without even glancing at the empty half. He didn't need to be reminded that he was alone. He didn't need to see the faint imprint of Lance's body on the sheets, or brown curls of hair on the pillow. He didn't need to know that the previous night had even happened. He was reminded well enough without needing to see his empty, cold bed.

Blake bathed and dressed, finding his tie on the floor and putting it on. It was a stark contrast to his more traditional Wonderland clothes, but he'd gotten used to wearing it on his days off. He felt like he needed to wear it today, after what had happened. The thought stung slightly in his chest. He needed to wear the one memento he had of Luca's, after sleeping with another man? After defiling his angel's memory like that?

He shook his head and pushed the guilt aside, swallowing the tears that had begun to threaten his eyes. He hadn't chosen to do what he did to ruin Luca's memory. He didn't do it out of malice or spite. He didn't do it to forget. It wasn't a drunken fit of passion, or a mistake. He'd done it to remember.

And he did remember. He remembered more vividly than he had since he arrived. He could hear his lost love's bold laugh ringing in his ears. He could taste the sweetness of his lips. He could smell his cologne. He could even feel him adjusting he tie, keeping it from being awkwardly askew under his vest.

That made it worth it... right? If remembering was the entire point, wasn't it okay no matter what he did, so long as he remembered Luca? If he would never see Luca again, why did it matter what he did to honor his memory? If he still loved him, shouldn't it be okay to remember his lost love in whatever way helped him most? He honestly didn't know. The guilt would have to wait a little longer. He wasn't going to be able to deal with it right now.

He turned to leave his room when he spotted something on his bed that he hadn't even thought to look for. A note and some small plush animal. He frowned softly and sat on the bed, picking up the stuffed toy. It was a white sea lion plushy with a tag from Whipsnade Zoo. It was terribly old, gone slightly grey with age, and looked like it had been repaired at least a handful of times with varying degrees of success. It was obviously well-loved, however, for someone to keep it so long.

Blake picked up the note and scanned over it, briefly appalled by the penmanship.

Blake,

Sorry I wasn't there when you woke up to say good morning. I know you probably didn't want me there, but know that it isn't something I do lightly. It isn't honorable for either of us, and I am very sorry. This morning isn't one of my days off, and so I had to be up and gone before dawn to start my rounds. Know that if this wasn't the care, I would be serving you a cup of tea now as opposed to leaving you there alone. If you'd rather be alone, then I suppose this note is probably meaningless babble. Apologies.

I don't know if you'll regret what happened. If you do, I'm sorry for the role I played in it. I hope instead that it brought you perhaps a moment of comfort, or an escape from your pain no matter how temporary. You won't stop missing him. I know that form experience. But it can get better in time. Try to keep your chin up. You're too kind a man to let your loss harden you so.

I've left you under the watchful eye of my animal friend, Sir Vortimer. He is from England, like you. You might even be the same age, actually. I have had him for some time now. He is very dear to me. So dear to me that not even Sir Achilles has been allowed to know of him. His mission is to bring comfort wherever he might be needed, and I can think of few other souls in the kingdom more in need of his service than you.

Take care of him for me.

-Sir Lance Chevalier/ Lord Edmond Sorrel/ White Knight to the Queen

Lance.

Blake looked back at the plushy and gave it a gentle squeeze. Knowing that Lance wasn't avoiding him was very reassuring. Knowing this wouldn't hurt anything was a blessing.... Having just one more small reminder of home, however, was more than he could have ever hoped for.

He folded the note and placed it on his dresser. He left the plushy comfortably on top of his pillows, deciding it was a grand enough place it. He pulled on his boots, adjusted his tie one more time, and set off to spend his day off in the library, drowning himself in tea and books.

He'd be okay. He'd be okay even if he just had to pretend to be okay until it happened. Even knowing he had that like of thinking was slightly reassuring. It was a truly English thought if he'd ever had one. Keep Calm and Carry On. His first week of work here in this new world was over. He'd take the rest one week at a time. He'd be just fine.

All of us have ways in which we mask and cover our pain.
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